


Lessons

by utterlydespicable



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:25:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/utterlydespicable/pseuds/utterlydespicable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 things the scandigayvians taught each other +1 thing they learned together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sparklydemons](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sparklydemons), [kurhie](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kurhie).



lesson number one: inhale

"Toki."  
"Hn?"  
"You has to inhales it, or you’re nots goings to be gettings stones."  
"Whys I needs to be getting stones anysways?"  
"You ams goings to needs to relax before I dos what I’m goings to does to you."  
"…Oh."  
"Ja."

lesson number two: you are what you eat

"…Skwisgaar."  
"Whats, Tokis?"  
"Dis stuff ams taste like craps."  
"Ams not supposed to tastes like candy, Toki."  
"Maybe you eats more candy, and it does?"  
"Dat actu-skallies makes sense. I cans does dat. …You’d haves to tastes tests it a lot."

lesson number three: inverted controls are a bitch

"Toki."  
"Shuts up."  
"Toki."  
"SHUTS UP."  
"Toki, lets me sees dat."  
"I KNOWS HOW TO FLIES IT."  
"Toki, de ups is down and de down is ups."  
"SHUTS UP, SKWISGAAR, YOU AMS TRYINGS TO CONFUSE ME."  
"Fine, I lets you flies it."  
"…GODDAMNIT MOTHERFUCKIN DILDO LICKER."  
"I tolds you so. Lets me see dat."  
"NO, IT AMS MINE."  
"LETS ME SEE."  
"NNNNOOOOOOOO!!"

lesson number four: there’s only room for one star

"Skwisgaar, yous a showoffy jerk!"  
"I can’ts help it, de girlies screams for me and mines animals magnets...chism."  
"You takes all de spotlights and don’ts leaves any rooms for Toki!"  
"Dere ams never enough rooms for you on de stage, Toki, you ams a bit-parts."  
"You calls me bitch-parts?!"  
"No, Toki, bit-parts. What means dis is… De extras. You knows. Unimportant peoples."  
"YOUS AN EXTRAS!!"

lesson number five: don’t jump to conclusions

"TOKI WHATS YOU DOINGS WID MY GUITARS GETS YOURS HANDS OFF-"  
"I ams justs-"  
"You ams puts a stickers on mines guitar?! Whats you t’inking!!"  
"Just looks at it!!"  
"…World’s… greatests guitars player? …Toki."  
"Hmph."  
"You dont's has to humiliates yourself likes dis."  
"WHAT?"  
"I knows I ams de better guitars player. You doesn’t needs to tells me."  
"I knows I doesn’t needs to tells you!"  
"Den why you puts dis on dere? Is dis yous way of asksing me for guitars lessons again? Yous so cutes, little Toki."  
"FUCKS YOU, SKWISGAAR, I TAKES IT BACK."

+1: we must be willing to learn from one another.

"Skwisgaar, lays back."  
"Toki, you don’ts knows what you ams doings."  
"I said, lays down!"  
"Dats not how you dos it, if you doesn’t dos it right I’m not goings to lets you fucks me."  
"Dere is no rights! However you dos it, it’s okays! But I needs you to lays back and stops micromanagings me."  
"Hmph. Too prouds to takes advice from de masters of fingerings."  
"I makes you cums likes a bitch!"  
"Ja? Hows?"  
"I fingerfucks you-"  
"Ja, you nots dat goods at dat."  
"…and tells you I loves you."  
"Ja,- …vad?"  
"You hears me."  
"Nnn- Tokis, you— …fucks.”  
"…Tolds you I makes you cum likes a bitch."


End file.
